...thankyou guys...karen, christina, nai, and everybody else that was worried about me...i'm getting better...the bruises are fading....so yeah...well...i'm going to the spring competition this saturday!! i think all the people that are going are girls, cause today after school when we had practice...i only saw girls there...and not a lot of them either...but colonel or mar said thatit's after school and not alot of people wants to come after school so there should be more people coming on saturday...i can't remember who said it...oh yeah...and i got a 4.0 !!! ms. caruso finally gave me my A!! but this is going to be my last 4.0 cause i know that i'm going to get a B in choir this marking period...  but i know why...god...there's only like 4 or 5 weeks left of school...and we have like 2 days off at the end of this month....boy...doesn't time pass by really fast? and i wanted to charish this freshmen year, because in middle school 6th grade was the most fun for me besides 8th grade...and i think freshmen year is going to be the most fun too...so next year is going to suck!!!  the seniors are going to be all gone...i'm going to really miss them...especially that special someone.....i'm going to miss all my JROTC 4th years even though some people's been mean to me...i'm still going to miss them...cause i'm never going to see them again...i hope i do, just have to see what happens...

today...April 26, 2004

...today we had those testing stuff again...but i didn't even get that much done...i was like on the 2nd story in the english stuff...then i felt sick so i told the teacher i was goin to the restroom..then i was walking toward the door..then everything started to get blary..then when i got to the door the teacher gave me the hall pass..but i could barely see it..everything was like gray...then all of a sudden everything was black...i didn't noe what was happening...then later when i woke up i was on the ground and a security guard was right next to me..and he was talkin on his walkie talkie...he was saying that a girl fainted and hit her head...then i was like...what?!?! i fainted?!? then i was like if i was on the floor of course...or why else was i on the floor it's not like the floor was clean or anything...but then later i found out that the floor was made of cement...then that made me think that maybe i broke a bone or something..cause i don't drink milk..so no calcium...weak bones...then my face really started to hurt...then the school called the ambulance...and i got on one of those wheely bed thingys...then when i was in the ambulance...they poked my finger!! ouch! that really hurted i think it was to check my glucose level or sumthing...then they hooked me up to those machines that checks your heart beat....the ones that goes up and down...but i didn't see it, it was behind my head..and i didn't want to move my head just in cause i really had broken bones in my head...when i got to the er...i had to wait a while for my mom to come...my mom thought that someone tripped me in the hallway and i fell...cause the school told my mom that i fell so they had to send me to the hospital...but they were wrong!!! then later when they finally sent me to those rooms...they checked my heart beat again...then they did that thing where they put this thing around your arm...then it fills up with air...yeah...and they did that like 5-10 times from school-when i got out of the er...then they took my blood!!! first that lady poked the needle into my left arm but no blood came out then she poked my right arm and she took 3 tubes of blood!!! like the first time that she poked that needle in my arm didn't hurt,she had to go and poke my right arm too...and when she poked it in my right arm...she wiggled it inside...that really hurted that time...now my knee and my face has a buise on it...and if u didn't noe that means internal bleeding!!!ouchie ouchie...and my fingers hurt too!! the docter taped my two fingers together cause she thinks that i spruned it...and she gave me the surgical tape so i can tape it together for the next 3 days!!!

this whole experience was so scary...!!!

*all the underlined words are i words that i'm not sure about the spelling...

This is the lyrics to the songs on my xanga:

Lyrics: Stuck

I cant get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just cant seem to find a way to leave the love behind
I ain't trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging on a string
Why you make me cry
I tried to give u everything
But you just give lies
I ain't trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you

Now love's a broken record
That's been skippin' in my head
I keep singing Yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?

I aint trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinkin of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
I don't know what to do
I'm stuck on you

Lyrics: (Theres gotta be) More to Life

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

CHORUS:
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... There's gotta be more

(Than wanting more)

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

CHORUS

I'm wanting more

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed....
Always... Always...

CHORUS - repeat twice

More to life
There's gotta be more to life (more to life)
There's gotta be more to life (more)
More to my life